My first seventeen years have been a bit different than the
youth experienced by most Americans. I grew up on an extremely rural goat ranch
in Western Riverside County, California, where my family raises on average 150
to 200 animals for milk, cheese, and meat. My father is a halal butcher [a
butcher who slaughters in an Islamic manner -ed.] and supplies to an Islamic
Food Mart a few blocks from the Islamic Center in downtown Los Angeles.
My father was raised agnostic or atheist, but he became a believer in
One God when he picked up a Bible left on the beach. He once had a number of
Muslim friends, but they've all moved out of California now. My mother was
raised Catholic, so she leans towards Christianity (although she, like my
father, disregards the Trinity). I and my siblings were/are home-schooled, and
as you may know, most home-school families are Christian. In the last 8 or so
years, we have been involved with some home-schooling support groups, thus
acquainting me with fundamentalist Christianity. It was an eye-opening
experience. Setting aside the blind dogmatism and charismatic wackiness, it was
quite a shock to me when I realized that these people, in their prayers, were
actually praying TO JESUS. You see, I had always believed that Jesus (pbuh) was,
at the very most, the Son of God (since that is what the Bible mistranslates
"Servant of God" as). As I learned that belief in the Trinity, something I find
absolutely ridiculous, is considered by most Christians to be a prerequisite for
salvation, I gradually realized I could not be a Christian.
In the
meantime, I had become obsessed with demonic Heavy Metal music, something the
rest of my family (as I now realize, rightfully so) was not happy with. My
entire life was focused on expanding my music collection. I eschewed personal
cleanliness and let my room reach an unbelievable state of disarray. My
relationship with my parents became strained, although only intermittently so. I
am sorry even as I write this.
Earlier this year, I began to listen to
the apocalyptic ramblings of Christian radio's "prophecy experts." Their
paranoid espousal of various conspiracy theories, rabid support of Israel and
religious Zionism, and fiery preaching about the "Islamic Threat" held for me a
strange fascination. Why? Well, I suppose it was simply the need I was feeling
to fill that void I had created for myself. In any case, I soon found that the
beliefs these evangelists held, such as Original Sin and the Infallibility of
"God's Word", were not in agreement with my theological ideas (not to mention
the Bible) and I began to look for something else to hold onto.
The
turning point, perhaps, was when I moved in with my grandparents here in Santa
Ana, the county seat of Orange, California. My grandmother, a computer whiz, is
hooked up to America Online and I have been scooting the information
superhighway since January. But when I moved in, with the intent of finding a
job (easier said than done), I begin to visit the religion folders on AOL and
the Usenet newsgroups, where I found discussions on Islam to be the most
intriguing. You see, I discovered that the beliefs and practices of this
religion fit my personal theology and intellect as well as basic human logic.
Islam presents God not as an anthropomorphic being but as an entity beyond human
comprehension, transcendent of man, independant and undivided. Islam has a holy
book that is comprehensible to a layman, and there is no papacy or priesthood
that is considered infallible in matters of interpretation: all Muslims are free
to reflect and interpret the book given a sufficient education. Islam does not
believe that all men are doomed to Hell unless they simply accept that God
(apparently unable to forgive otherwise) magnanimously allowed Himself to be
tortured on a cross to enable Him to forgive all human beings who just believe
that He allowed Himself to be tortured on a cross... Islam does not believe in a
Chosen Race. And on and on...
As I began reading English translations of
the Qur'an, I became more and more convinced of the truth and authenticity of
Allah's teachings contained in those 114 chapters. Having been around Muslims in
my formative years, I knew well that they were not the bloodthirsty, barbaric
terrorists that the news media and the televangelists paint them to be. Perhaps
this knowledge led me to continue my personal research further than another
person would have. I can't say when I actually decided that Islam was for me. It
was really a natural progression. In any case, last week [November 1995 -ed.]I
went to the Islamic Society of Orange County in Garden Grove and told the
brother in charge of the library I wanted to be a Muslim. He gave me some
excellent reading material, and last Friday I took Shahada [accepted the creed
of Islam -ed.]in front of a packed masjid. I have spent this week learning to
perform Salat and reflecting on the greatness of Allah. It feels great to be a
Muslim! Subhaana rabbiyal 'azeem!
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